I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
