so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.