A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
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come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
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my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?