dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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