gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
