Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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