i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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