note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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