3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
