counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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