ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?