Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip