Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
