I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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