make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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