if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
