it was like his penis was on wheels.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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