im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
