i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wannas sexs uuuuu
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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