I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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