Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
