I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
