are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
