Barsexuality is the new black.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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