I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Congratulations! We have a period
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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