Yo dont text me then not text me
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Randomize
