Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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