dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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