So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
