Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
