You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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