my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
