i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We are all done wearing pants today
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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