Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
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I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
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I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize