Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize