Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Congratulations! We have a period
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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