well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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