im drinking this country out of the recession.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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