sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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