We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
