Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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