She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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