you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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