a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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