Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
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he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
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He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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