u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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