it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so let's talk penis.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
soo... how was my night?
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