when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
