Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize