he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
