Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
