Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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