the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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