i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
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and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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