The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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