I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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