ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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