Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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