why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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