Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
