Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
