This is not my ceiling
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize