Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
