yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize