I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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